Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
