As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
