i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
