pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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