I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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