Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm both gender and math confused
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
