my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
