I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
