But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We had sex on a dog bed..
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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