yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
