So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
