he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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