I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
