We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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