Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
