i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
