Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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