i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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