just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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