on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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