In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
