Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
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I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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