That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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