I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
