you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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