you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
