I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
