Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
