i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
