this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
