We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
