how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It all started with a game of naked twister.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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