Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
