He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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