would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
