So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
