Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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