Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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