You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
