well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
