We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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