She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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