WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
