I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
dude. I can hear the air.
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