hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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