I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I don't deserve a penis
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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