how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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