I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
