So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
