all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
