found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
