my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
