Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
