if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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