Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
