there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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