i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
do herpes really smell.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
