I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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