I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
