pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Your penis caused this!
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