if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
