I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
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I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
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But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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