STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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