so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
