im drinking this country out of the recession.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
